Oh f*ck!
That’s the word I said unintentionally when I got a bad news. Yep, I just got a bad news again. I failed in Pertamina fresh-graduate recruitment program (BPS). This is the third attempt in 4 consecutive years since 2018, and all failed miserably in online test, not even going to interview. But thinking about that, I use that word quite often these days. Let’s recap what happened.
July 15th, 23.55 WIB. That’s the time when my father got heart attack and passed away. I was in Balikpapan (so it’s July 16th there due to time difference with Surabaya), writing my research paper that will be published in October in the middle of the night while listening to my groovy playlists. Oh, f*ck! Yeah, nobody to blame about that. We all know that he has problem with his heart since approximately 2 years ago, we were just not prepared. I was shocked, but did not cry. I got my first vaccination the same day and returned to Surabaya on the next day. It wasn’t easy even though I don’t see my father or family often since college and I moved 1400 km away after that.
Enough for short 5 days in Surabaya for cremation (we chose it over burial), I returned again to Balikpapan. But things were not going well either. I started coughing a lot and my body felt weak. After just a few days, I tested positive for Covid-19. Oh f*ck! C’mon, it’s just a week after being vaccinated. I moved to safe house to isolate myself because I live in small rented-room, so I think it’s better than transmitted the virus to everyone next to me. The next day, I recognized something was off, I can’t smell anything. Oh f*ck, anyway, it’s not pretty bad, at least for me. I don’t think I need to smell anything much; I don’t use any perfume either. Other than that, one advantage is you can’t smell your own sh*t lol. Unfortunately, the next day, again, something was off. My tongue lost its ability. Oh f*ck, now it’s starting to pissed me off. I have to eat something with no taste at all. I lost my appetite, but still trying as much as I can to eat all of the food while also taking my medicine (oh f*ck, it’s a lot actually).
While I’m on sick leave, of course I don’t have to work. I tried to exercise again as my usual working-out routine and oh f*ck, it feels so bad. I thought initially it was only my mouth that coughing a lot, my tongue lost its taste, and my nose can’t smell. It wasn’t, all of my body weakened and my head hurts a lot, oh f*ck. Okay, let’s just do some plank and push up, and as I mentioned before, I still had to finish my research paper. I did finish it actually, but the bad news is because it’s a virtual event (because of this pandemic), I had to make voice-over-presentation too (if you don’t know about it, just google) and that’s not good. I’d tried several times, but because I coughed a lot, it was a total disaster. Oh f*ck, but fortunately, I still have time to recover before the deadline. I finished it yesterday even though it took me several attempts (and of course several ‘oh f*ck’s).
Well, July had passed and August gave me a bad first impression again. But no need to worry, I’ll just keep saying ‘oh f*ck’ and get away with it again. I am still in safe house the day I write this, but my nose and tongue has been recovered (and I found out the toilet is actually a little bit stinky, oh f*ck). I already missed my guitar, I missed my own laptop with Windows 11, I missed my dad, I miss many people except my girlfriend because I don’t have it (oh f*ck). My body is not fully recovered, but more than enough to get back to my usual work. Hopefully, I’ll return next week (I even miss my work lol).
Honestly, I don’t know why I’m writing this, maybe I’m just bored and tired of wearing mask all day and taking a lot of medicine. I have to admit that this safe house is much better than my small and crappy rented-room, but it feels quite empty (I guess it’s related to my mind rather than the house lol). Anyway, for you who read this, please be happy for yourself. I wish you stay safe and healthy, and hopefully good things happen to you as well.
If it doesn’t, oh f*ck, sorry about it mate, don’t blame me.
